Zoom Out!

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We are all caught up in different seasons of life. Rejoicing during moments of successes, fortunes, and riches and lamenting in our failures, misfortunes, and debt. Often forgetting to zoom out and analyzing whether all of it is really worth it. Sometimes it’s important to scrutinize the bigger picture to realize that today’s difficulty will not define our entire life. In fact, what seems tough right now might turn into something beautiful soon.

When we focus only on the day to day activities, without realizing whether they are important or not, we keep completing tasks but never attain happiness or peace of mind. It is vital to differentiate between what is important and what is urgent. For example, preparing Minutes of the Meeting or folding laundry is urgent but reading to our children is important. We usually concentrate on the urgent, pushing around the important things and fooling ourselves that we would do the important part someday soon. If something is urgent, it will somehow get done. On the other hand, if important things are pushed around, we only end up repenting to have lost the time or opportunity.

To realize this difference between important and urgent, we need to zoom out of our lives and take a good look at the bigger picture.

We should not define our life with today’s failure or success. Life is just like the seasons in nature. Sometimes like the wilted autumn, sometimes like the spring flowers, while at times it’s as bright as the summers and on other days it’s cold as the winters. But none of the seasons alone define nature. Similarly, to get a clearer understanding of our life, our goals, and the things that really matter, we need to zoom out at times.

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Vibes

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Vibe, short for vibration, is the atmosphere a person or a place creates around them. Not all of us are consciously aware of people’s vibes or energy, but certain people radiate positive vibes while others negative. A person’s energy is a result of the combination of their past, their mindset, their beliefs, and perceptions. Many a time you feel comfortable and happy around people whom you’ve just met! While the other times you feel like just getting rid of someone the moment they come close.

After pondering a little on the subject, I realized why and how do people with positive vibes attract the masses.

They Smile Often

People with good vibes smile often. Not in a creepy way, but in a welcoming way. A smile when meeting someone instantly makes the other person comfortable and creates a good aura.

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Down To Earth

People who preach simple living always tend to attract you because you don’t need to show off your wardrobe collection, or your bank balance, or your child’s scorecard to them! I love this tribe!

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Treat Everyone the Same

Treating everyone the same, regardless of their age, or social or financial status is a quality only a few of us hold. Every person needs to be treated with respect. Just because you are better than someone in one aspect, doesn’t mean you look down upon them. They might be better than you in some other aspect. You can always learn something new from every person around you if you treat them equal and listen to their experiences and stories.

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Compliment Others

It takes nothing to compliment others. Further, you never know how much a word of appreciation can mean to someone. Learn to compliment as often as you can. Compliment people on their outfit, or haircut, etc. Make sure your compliments are genuine. If nothing, a simple ‘Nice to meet you’ or ‘Nice seeing you today’ can sometimes make someone’s day.

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Acceptance

The best way to spread good vibes is by the simple act of accepting. People who accept others the way they are, and empathize with others are going to be a natural favorite! You can be yourself with them without being judged.

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Subconscious Mind and It’s Power

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What is the Subconscious Mind?

The part of our mind that notices and stores information when we are not actively trying to do so; and influences our behavior based on that information without us even realizing is the subconscious mind. For example, memories, beliefs, fears, etc. are a part of our subconscious. Whether we try to remember them or not, this part of our mind stores it forever.

How is it different from the Conscious Mind?

The conscious mind is the awareness of our thoughts, surroundings, feelings, and sensations. Like if we are feeling thirsty, or feeling cold, it is all in our conscious mind. However, our subconscious mind will many a times pick up the bottle of water kept in front of us when we are thirsty, although we are on an important call and didn’t really consciously think of picking up the bottle; because over the years, our conscious mind has taught the subconscious mind to drink water when we feel thirsty.

That is why new born babies don’t pick up bottles to drink water when they are thirsty. Instead, they cry because their conscious mind has taught their subconscious that crying would draw attention towards them and their thirst would be taken care of.

How intelligent is the Subconscious Mind?

Our subconscious mind has a stronger sense of awareness than our conscious mind (some even call it the sixth sense). However, it actually simply obeys orders from the conscious mind. Whatever comes into our conscious mind, will be considered true by our subconscious. Therefore, if you have a negative thought process, your subconscious will always give you negativity such as anger, fear, anxiety, etc.

For example, if you once consciously got angry on someone who didn’t follow your orders, your subconscious mind will record this and the next time the same situation comes up, your emotions of anger will be triggered automatically, without a second thought. But instead, if you acted with patience the first time someone didn’t listen to you, your subconscious mind will nurture the patience it learned from your conscious mind. This is the reason some of us are called as patient beings while some are known to be angry all the time.

Does Subconscious Mind define who I am?

Definitely! You are exactly what your subconscious mind is. If your subconscious has positive thoughts, you’ll be positive all the time, if it has thoughts of jealousy, you’ll always feel jealous, if it has feelings of competing, you’ll feel the need to compete every time. Hence, our subconscious mind defines us who we are. You can even achieve the impossible if you simply make it believe in something. You just have to make your subconscious mind believe, and consider the deed done!

The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy gives real life examples of how your subconscious can control and improve the quality of your life. It states how you can get that promotion you deserve, overcome phobias and bad habits, strengthen interpersonal relationships and increase your wealth. This book has changed my thought process and there’s always something new to learn every time I re-read it.

Can I change my Subconscious Mind?

Absolutely! As you saw subconscious simply learns from the conscious mind. So whatever you consciously teach, subconscious learns and gives it back to you.

For example, you are a person who stays angry all the time and even the slightest of mistake can cause you to burst out into flames. But if you decide to change this behavior of yours and become a patient person, then you most definitely can. However, it’s not going to be very easy. You have to start imagining yourself as a calmer person. Imagine yourself in a situation which would usually get you all worked up, and then imagine yourself accepting the situation and handling it with grace. You literally need to imagine every thought you would want to have in that situation and the exact conversation you would want to have with the opposite person.

When the next time, you are in a situation like that stop and consciously decide how you would want to react. When you repeat this action a few times, the subconscious will overwrite your anger emotions with that of patience. Now it will only give you feelings of being patient and calm even when the world is turning upside down.

This is the power of the subconscious mind and if worked upon carefully can work wonders.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

F.R.I.E.N.D.S, a well known American TV sitcom is a story of six friends’ personal and professional life. Here are a few life lessons that I learnt from the main characters.

Rachel Green

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She taught us what hard work and dedication can result into. We saw her being introduced as a spoilt brat who knew nothing apart from spending her rich dad’s money. She soon realizes she needs to stand up on her own and decided to take up her first job as a waitress. However, once she realized her dream, there was no putting stop to her persistence. In the end, we all know she landed up with the best in business. This also teaches us that we alone have the power to shape our lives the way we want to.

Ross Geller

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Ross taught us how to love and never lose faith in love. In spite of having gone through 3 marriages and 3 divorces and various failed relationships, he never gave up on love. Eventually, he did end up with the love of his life Rachel. So, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what the situation is, never lose your faith, never stop being passionate.

Chandler Bing

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Chandler taught us it’s never too late to quit; it’s never too late to follow your dreams. He quit his job in his thirties and stepped into a totally different world of marketing. It of course wasn’t easy to take that decision, nor was it easy to intern in marketing with fellow employees a decade younger to you! It takes courage to step down and do what Chandler did.

He also got over his fear of commitment and went onto marry and have children with Monica. If someone like Chandler, who would get awkward on dates or social gatherings could come over his fears and make life changing decisions, then you and I can too.

Monica Gellar

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She taught us hospitality. Everyone was always welcome in her apartment. There was food for all, even at midnight! She loved hosting parties without even flinching once. She defined perfection through her habit of organizing, cleaning and labelling everything around her! In spite of being the perfectionist and best cook she was, even Monica faced negative reviews as a chef. So, no matter how hard you try, there will always be a few people who will criticize you, but like Monica, let no one dull your sparkle!

Joey Tribianni

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We can learn the art of never giving up from Joey. He gave tonnes of auditions and got rejected from all of them, was given negative reviews and sometimes even thrown out of sets. However, he always took all the criticism lightly and never let it get to his heart. Even after failing unbelievable number of times, he never gave up on acting. All his dedication and hard work did pay off when he was finally cast in “Days of Our Lives”.

Also, he always stood up for what he believed in, regardless of the situation. As we all know, JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD, be it with his best friends, a little baby or a date that might work out into something meaningful. If he doesn’t share food, he doesn’t with anyone!

Phoebe Buffay

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It is said that Happiness is a condition of mind, not the result of your circumstances, and Phoebe Buffay is the perfect example of that. She had a terrifying childhood, her mother committed suicide, she spent her teens living on the streets, she was left by her lover many a times for Minsk and a lot more! Yet, she was the most cheerful amongst her friends and always had positive words to lift anyone up. She was always seen in high spirits and had her own weird analogies towards life.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S and these six characters have touched each one of us in some way or the other. Do let me know what you learnt from the series or the characters.

Everything Happens for a VERY Good Reason

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Amelia’s* car broke down right when she had to leave for work before dropping off her kids to school!

John* was running late to the meeting because it was his son’s first day to kindergarten.

Samara* was waiting for a taxi for almost an hour now!

Josh* was furious as he had to go back to his kid’s school because his son had picked up a fight with a fellow classmate.

The crisp white shirt that Tom* bought this weekend got stained by coffee. His clumsiness was going to make him late for the presentation.

We have all had such bad days, haven’t we? But, before we land at any conclusion about whether these people were having a bad day or not, let me tell you this: all of them were headed to the World Trade Centre, NY on 11th September 2001. Thanks to their “bad day”, these survivors couldn’t make it on time to their work that day.

Destiny plays its role perfectly. You never land in a situation which you cannot handle. In fact, you are only given a situation in life that only YOU can handle.

We fail because we had to learn the importance of winning, we lose people in life to learn to cherish the ones that still exist, we need to put in a sick leave because maybe we were going to meet with an accident on our way to work, we are lied to so that next time we learn to be more cautious, and sometimes good opportunities fail to come to us because there might be better opportunities waiting for us. So stop worrying about hard times. There is no such thing as a bad time or a good time. There’s only right time. You are exactly where you are destined to be. So grab it all and enjoy what you still have, rather than crying over the things you lost.

We’ve all heard and told this to each other on several events in our lives. Yet, we fail to apply it when it comes to us. So, what exactly changed after you spent 5 days in anger when you were cheated upon? Did you pass the exam you spent days crying upon failing it? So, why stay angry or cry over something then? The next time life events disappoint you, try accepting and moving ahead unaffectedly.

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*Names have been changed to protect the family’s privacy.